|| FUCK ALL YALLZ
So tonight Brian, Jeff and I watched our new favorite show, "Rock Star SuperNova." If you're out of the loop, it's just like that INXS show from last year, only this time we are treated with Tommy Lee and two other assholes from Metallica and Guns N' Roses. The 3, known as Supernova, sit around with Dave Navarro as a bunch of wannabe front(wo)men who've listed to too much Fuel over the past five years sing their hearts out to Nirvana songs. It can get pretty darn funny if you watch it enough to get into it. But I'm dragging, and this isn't even the point.
The point is actually quite funny. On the show, the bands talk about living the "hard, gritty" rock and roll lifestyle, yet you can't get past all the giant corporate sponsorship. A commercial came on the TV during a break with a familiar song, and it took me a while to realize it. Isn't it neat when you hear a song in a show or whatever and it takes you a minute to realize it? Well, once my mind put two ends together, I realized that my TV was spitting out The Dirtbombs! Wow, the Dirtbombs on TV! Neat!
The commercial featured a bunch of skateboarders (with helmets and a shitton of protective gear no less, ROCK!!!!) listening to MP3 players and playing with laptops, while the song "Trainwreck" played. Trainwreck is one of their more average songs, a generic Dirtbombs track if there ever was one. I waited through the boring commercial to see what place it was from. Best Buy, or a Circuit City perhaps?
Nope. It was Wal-Mart. Fucking Wal-Mart.
Our muggy apartment fell silent in disbelief. I looked at Brian, and then Jeff, and they giggled. I screamed a loud, piercing howl that would put many girl scouts to shame. How could Mick Collins do this? Here was a rock star I respected, one that I thought put fans and "the music" over everything. So what the fuck happened? Did the Dirtbombs sell out? Is it a joke? Maybe some kid just like me was working on the Wal-Mart account, thought a song by his favorite band would fit the spot his was writing. Yeah! It's a fan! That MUST be it!
As all these possible scenarios whirred through my confused mind, the biggest answer suddenly became clear to me:
"Wait, who gives a shit?"
Seriously, what the fuck do I care if the Dirtbombs get some extra cash from a song. Its just a band. Whoop-de-fucking-do. It's not like this is some sort of hero worship or anything.
It just seems like I'm getting out of touch with everything that I thought had real significance three or four years ago. Music especially.
Music used to be such a big deal to me. Three years ago I would have put "music taste" over many other things as far as what I'm looking for in a woman. That's fucking retarded. It seems that I've gotten to this point that I see someone who takes music too seriously as a fucking joke. There are hundreds of more important things in life than music. Take Sufjan's cock out of your mouth and look at the real world for a change.
I've realized how big of a problem this actually was. What the fuck am I thinking? I mean, I'm proud of my personality and who I am, but I've come disillusioned with what I truly want out of life. Like if I had a choice to start a relationship with two girls (LOL), I would have really chosen someone who hated the Dave Matthews Band? Would I make sure my children respected what R.E.M. or Beck have done for music before I made them respect others that are different from them? Seriously, I (and perhaps you, too) was no better than the frat douchebags or sorostitutes we make fun of. Music snobs may as well be chotches.
Maybe my pretension has skyrocketed. Maybe it's like I always joked about: "I'm so pretentious that I dont even listen to music! I'm so much better than you because I hate people who are obsessed with bands and shit!"
"I'm so pretentious that I only listen to bands that license their songs out to Wal-Mart!"
I don't know. Is this growing up? Maybe. I'm going to be a senior in college soon, and this it what I've come to. By this time next year, I'll probably be listening to Shania Twain exclusively.
The past few months I've really come apart from Livejournal as well as from everything else in the internet social sphere. AIM's benefits are starting to wane on me, as well as facebook. I never really got into Myspace, but I will admit that I enjoy posting bizarre Youtube videos on people's comment boards. It's like, if you don't have a girl that you have a crush on on your friends list, then what the fuck is the point?
So I guess this my LJ's swan song. Which seems really pretentious and childish to do in the first place. Is Livejournal a fucking joke, and are people that update it constantly with cries for attention full of shit?
No. Not really. I mean why judge someone from their internet persona. I mean, some qualities shine out from everything you do, but to reiterate my last point, who gives a shit?
I want to apologize to anyone who has seen me at my snootiest. Not that this Livejournal helps anyway. But hey, if you've managed to make it this far, it must mean you really do care about me. So thanks, I care about you too. The summer is about to end, as well as many other things in my life. We will be celebrating one last time here very soon, so keep an eye out for Facebook. I hope you come. It'd mean a lot to us.
So as we all slowly grow up and our livejournals slowly rot, I bid adieu to this epic pile of HTML and empty feelings one more time. What a lame ride it's been. If I ever finally decide to seriously write, I'm sure I'll let you know. Through a Myspace bulletin.
See you in e-hell.